The man at the park glared at me, his expression communicating judgement. What kind of parent are you? Do something about your son’s behavior. Bending low to speak with his granddaughter face to face, he said, “You’re a good girl. You never behave like that little boy.”
Tempted to shout something in my preschooler’s defense, I scooped my son up in my arms to guard him from scrutiny and rushed away feeling helpless; shame and mama-guilt rubbing salt in the wound of unmet hopes and dreams.
I’d known something caused my little one to struggle. To hurt. To fear. And, after several years and a slew of visits to doctors, experts, and interventionists my precious one was diagnosed with both anxiety and a mood disorder.
My heart grieved–and still does–for what might have been.
Years later, a youth pastor addressed a concern with my husband. “I don’t think your boy should spend much time with Sara. She has bipolar disorder.”
The pastor’s response to mental illness stunned us. Fearful of the stigma attached to mental health issues, we hadn’t shared with anyone at church about the struggles our family faced. We’d been right to keep the information to ourselves. Our son had been protected from being ostracized by the people who should have demonstrated love and empathy. By those who could have opened the doors of communication and offered hope and help.
The man behind the pulpit communicated judgement. Mental illness makes someone unworthy and unsafe.
You, too, may understand the burden of watching a loved one suffer. Perhaps your heart aches as my heart does, wondering how God will transform the struggle into something that brings Him glory.
You may have felt judged in area of your life. You might carry a burden of shame you can’t seem to escape. Maybe the dreams you’d had for a relationship or a loved one have been crushed beneath the weight of difficult circumstances.
Oh, friend, the Enemy wants us to be paralyzed by our doubts and destroyed dreams. But, God promises us a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Neither the difficulties or joys of our todays can compare with what we’ll experience on the other side of heaven. Complete restoration of lives and relationships. Hopes and dreams surpassed.
1 Peter 5:10-11 (MSG) encourages us with these words,
You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.
He has eternal and glorious plans for you, for me, and for those we love. And He, who is the Word, gets the last word.
Peace and grace,
Tammy
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Great post. The enemy does want to destroy us and discourage us. It is so great to remember that our Heavenly Father has the last word! Christ gained the victory for us! Thank you for such encouraging words!
Thanks, Cheryl. I love knowing that the victory belongs to Him!
So thankful for His plans for us no matter what today looks like!
Me, too, Kelly! Peace and grace, Tammy
I relate to this on so many levels. Thank you. Praying his blessings for you today, Tammy. laurensparks.net
My pleasure, Lauren. Blessings to you today, as well.
The enemy likes to attack us in every way he can, but The Lord ALWAYS prevails. Thank you for this sweet and somber reminder.
Hi Sydney. The enemy knows he’ll lose in the end because God is far above him.
Peace and grace,
Tammy
I’m so sorry, Tammy! My heart has been heavy lately as I repeatedly reads the words of Scripture that tell us we are to be united in Christ and yet, I see the enemy using every trick out there to divide us. I’m praying like crazy. Thanks for this great post!
Hi Deb. Thanks for you kind words of encouragement and for the prayers. I doubt my experience is uncommon and know God has a plan for my children. I hope that in speaking out we believers will grow in our love and compassion for one another. Blessings, Tammy
Oh, I love the Scripture that you shared at the end and then these words: “And He, who is the Word, gets the last word.” It is so true that we are so given over to judgement. But what a precious Lord we have that always covers that judgement with such mercy. I am so sorry for those words that were spoken over and to you, but I am so thankful for the grace that you offered in your sharing here. Blessings to you.
Absolutely, Bettie. I know that I’ve judged others wrongly, too, and am so grateful to be on this side of the cross. Peace and grace, Tammy
Tammy, thank you for sharing your story with transparency so I am others can learn from what you and your family have walked through. It saddened me to read the very people who should have been nurturing and caring for that young girl your son was hanging with, were being judgemental instead. I am glad you kept the info about your son private as well. Blessings to you and thank you for courageously speaking out about this topic.
We have so much to learn as a Church about living like Jesus, don’t we? Thanks for your kind words, Debbie. Blessings to you, Tammy
One day I hope we’ll rise up to treat mental illness with the same dignity that we treat physical illnesses. Thanks for your stories. They matter.
Hi, Lisa. I think it will take time, patience and advocacy. Blessings, Tammy
Oh, we can’t go back but we can always go forward in Truth! Thanks for sharing your story, and I grieve alongside you for the close minded insensitivity toward those who struggle with mental illness. We are all so quick in our “othering.”
We can go forward, Michele! Judgement comes easily when we can’t see into other peoples lives. We are all learning how to love more like Christ! 🙂