We spoke of the not knowing. Not assuming too much. Not offering enough grace and I was reminded of the weight of shame pressing hard against my chest as I shuffled my feet toward the front of the line–my head dipping low as my son’s face shone cherry red. Spittle sprayed across my face as he roared, “I. Want. Dat. Candy.”

“No, You may not have candy when you misbehave.” I spoke calmly, but my heart withered as I noticed the pinched faces of those around me. I’d seen looks of disapproval before.

Positioned like eggs in a carton, my son and I were wedged between customers in the grocery queue with a full cart. Often unpredictable, the outbursts could be painful. Embarrassing. He seemed out of control, and I longed to protect him from those who thought they could do better. Knew better. People like the man at the park.

“Did you see that naughty little boy?” the man said, his gray brows drawn together in a straight line. He shot a meaningful glance our direction as my son burrowed into my arms–worn thin from a playground melt-down. My mama’s heart rebelled at the insult. I longed to defend my child—this small one who appeared as typical as any other preschooler. Unkind words rose sharp in my throat, but “love others as yourself” reprimanded my conscience and they remained unspoken.

Two Important Lessons I Learned in the Grocery Store and on the Playground

Those moments defined the next several years. I learned two important lessons about life in the grocery store and playground.

1. Don’t assume that I understand the hidden struggle or pain that belongs to someone else.                                                                                                                                                                         2. Don’t assume I could navigate the situation any better.

Mental illness, hardship, and pain visit even the young.

Like most of us, the disciples fell into the trap of assumption. John 9:1-2 reads, “As he [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Like most of us, the disciples fell into the trap of assumption. #assumption #givegrace Share on X

In that culture and during the time of Christ, people often blamed the victim for their circumstances. Of course, our ‘evolved’ society may not be much different. The idea of ‘karma’ even permeates Christian thought. Jesus, though, refutes such claims. His response to the disciples? “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:3)

Perhaps your suffering or that of a loved one has to do with bringing God glory or producing endurance (James 1:3). Maybe we won’t know the reason for our heartache this side of heaven, but we can learn to love others with tenderness and grace through their wilderness seasons. Even in the grocery aisle.

Especially when little boys struggle with mental illness.

A Prayer if Your Child is Struggling with Mental Illness

Dear Lord,

I am heartbroken. My child is hurting, and I can’t fix it. Nothing I say or do seems to ease the pain, Father, and I am turning to you in my helplessness. Father, when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10) Please give me discernment as I minister to this precious child. Give me the ability to speak words of love in my frustration, the ability to see beyond the mental illness to the soul of the beautiful child you have created, and the opportunity to build a support network for my son/daughter and myself. I trust that “you have plans to prosper” ________’s life. I thank you for him/her.

In the powerful name of Jesus,

Amen.

My child is hurting, and I can't fix it. #Mentalillness#childrenandmentalilness Share on X
Peace and grace,

Tammy

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