My heart thundered against my ribcage as I fumbled for the cell phone. Clicking on the bedside lamp, fear clawed its way inside my body and settled in my stomach as a gentle voice shared, “Your son has been talking to me about the possibility of hurting himself. He called the prevention hotline and would like to speak with you.” Though my son battled anxiety and the ups and downs of a mood disorder, I never imagined a night like this. A night with me on the phone and my suicidal boy’s life in the hands of a stranger.

The Truth About Parenting Suicidal Children or Teens

As I mentioned in last week’s article, parenting a child or teen with mental illness often leads to feeling isolated. Misunderstood. Alone.

In a public forum, one parent shared, “You aren’t alone in feeling like a failing parent because your anger gets the best of you sometimes.”

If part of your story involves pouring into a child, teen, or young adult with mental illness—particularly one with suicidal ideation–then perhaps you relate to this parent’s comment. After all, parents are often the recipients of meltdowns, mania, and unmanageable moods. They wrangle with medical diagnoses, insurance plans, and hospitalizations. But far worse—these parents avoid sharing their deepest need for prayer with family and church friends out of fear. Fear both they and especially their child will be judged.

But with suicide rates in the U.S. the highest among teens and young adults, we who walk this challenging road discover comfort in this—other mamas know our struggle. They, too, utter the same desperate cries of the heart in prayer. And God is close to the brokenhearted.

Where to Look for Help if Your Child, Teen, or Young Adult Deals with Suicidal Ideation

Outside of the immediate family, nobody knew. Not friends. Not coworkers. Not even the pastor.

I slogged through my days on autopilot, praying for his safety. Desperate for a call as my head swiveled toward the clock on the wall at the office.

My own shattered heart required care, but I ignored its request. Sleep was elusive. Food a minimal requirement. I survived on prayer. But a lack of self-care results in a limited capacity to maintain physical, emotional, or spiritual strength, and suicidality rarely fades the moment your child leaves the hospital.

Looking back, I would pay more attention to my own needs in hopes that I could better attend to the needs of my family during such a challenging time. I might:

• see a counselor alone, with my husband, and/or with our other children.
• attend a support group through the National Association of Mental Illness.
• find a church in which I feel safe and supported sharing about a loved one who struggles with mental illness, suicide, and related issues.

A Prayer for You if Your Child Battles Suicidal Ideation

Lord,

I am overwhelmed by heartache. When I first held my son/daughter in my arms, I never imagined s/he would wage a war with suicide. Please, Father, protect my child from the Enemy’s arrows. He comes to “steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10) but you Jesus came that s/he “might have life, and…might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) I speak life abundant over ____________. Please, breathe your life into her/him as you breathed life into Adam and give my child fresh hope for each day.

In the powerful name of Jesus,

Amen

Peace and grace,

Tammy

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