The heartache was raw in the words she had penned. I thought I’d forgiven him, but then I realized I’m still angry. This sweet woman struggled to understand how her emotions could betray her declaration of forgiveness. She wanted to let go of the past and be released from the hold it held on her life.
Wondering how I might encourage her, these Bible verses came to mind. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22)
Mulling over Christ’s words, I paused to consider them. Was my understanding of forgiveness myopic? What if Jesus’ words meant more than the traditional “forgive and forget”?
The image of a runner comes to mind. I picture her falling as she sprints around a bend. Pieces of gravel and dirt embed themselves in her skin, but she’s able to cleanse the wound. All visible evidence of the injury is wiped away until, several days later, a painful shard of rock works its way to the surface–revealing its sharp edges.
On some occasions, we might be able to forgive an affront once and we’re done with it. But there are times forgiveness is more like tending to a slow-healing wound. We can only cleanse the injury when we realize that it goes deeper than expected. Those injuries may require seven times–or, perhaps, seventy-seven times–the same level of care. It’s a process of realization. A process of healing. A process of forgiveness.
Thought for Today
Who have you been reluctant to forgive? How has your inaction impacted your life?
Begin praying for that person today.
Recommended Reading
Forgiveness is a Choice by Robert D. Enright
Forgiving the Unforgivable by Dave Stoop
Forgiveness is another of those tricky things in my life experience. I agree wholeheartedly with you about it being a process. Our grasp and scope are too limited when we expect the deepest hurts of life to be ‘forgotten’ with a cheap forgiveness. It is such a disservice to tell a deeply wounded heart that she needs to forgive when her emotions haven’t caught up yet… Forgiveness is crucial – but the process of working towards true forgiveness is too easily pushed too soon. I am working toward achieving a true lasting forgiveness in my own life – but the wounds are so deep – it is taking much longer to process it all than I thought it would. I leave what I haven’t been able to forgive yet in God’s hands, trusting Him to carry this burden on my behalf until the day when my freedom is completed! What a good God we serve, One who bears our burdens with us and for us…
Forgiveness can be a challenge when the wounds are more than skin deep. I pray God’s gentle hand will lead you to a place of restoration.
I’m on my way – thank you!
My wound festered for 8 years til I realized it was up to me to pull the “thorn” out. The Lord is good! Shalom
You described those deep hurts so well with your running analogy, Whenever it comes to the surface, the emotions need to be reminded of forgiveness, where it can heal to the next level.