Before becoming a mother I had a hundred theories on
how to bring up children. Now I have seven children and one theory: Love them,
especially when they least deserve to be loved.
-Kate Samperi
“I hate you and can’t wait to move out! You’re horrible parents.”
The palpable ache in my chest grew more pronounced as each word penetrated the most vulnerable places within. How could my son –now nearly grown–regard us with such disdain and lack of respect? Hadn’t we loved him? Cared for him? Prayed over him?
While teenage angst and resentment play a role in my son’s attitude, there is something much more significant at the core of his hostility. What? Simply a heart of rebellion. A heart that prefers to go its own way–regardless of consequences.
And how I want to rescue my boy! My arms are held out awaiting his embrace, but instead I receive the lash of hurtful insults. Rather than allowing me to sooth the hurts masked by “grown-up” bravado, my son turns the other direction…away from his family, away from his values, and away from the God he knew as a child.
Oh, what a painful place to be as a parent! Yet, I know the Lord understands. Again and again God’s chosen people deserted the faithful One to chase after gods made of stone or to indulge the limited pleasures of sin. They left their Father. And the lesson of love in all of this? Despite the frustration and emotional turmoil, I must be faithful to my son–in my prayers, my actions, and expectations.
God does no less for me.
Scripture for Reflection
3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. (Luke 15:3-7)
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
Deuteronomy 7:8-10
Recommended Books
Prayers for Prodigals by James Banks
Great and timely article for me.
I am going thru the same struggle right now with my son. To make matters worse, we have had many confrontations because of his disobedience and attitude. I have also said very harsh words. I believe I love him, but his rebellion and recalcitrance makes parenting him very, very difficult.
I wish you would write/share more on your experiences/insights so that I could learn from them.
Keep up the Godly work.
God Bless!
Dear friend,
My prayers are with you. I can only share from my own experience, but will post again as God prompts thoughts that might encourage or offer insight. I highly recommend the book I listed at the end of the post. It’s been a great help to me!
Blessings,
Tammy