“I don’t understand, Lord!” These words have been part of my inner dialogue, prayers, and conversations for at least the last week–and, really, for almost a year–as my children have been impacted by all sorts of struggles.
There have been spiritual issues. My parents are just old-fashioned and out of touch. God gets that I want to live my life before I commit to Him.
There have been academic issues. Mrs. Kennington, we just don’t see the growth we expected.
There have been emotional issues. Temper tantrums at HIS age? Tsk! Tsk!
Through all of it, God has reminded me that He sees the beginning from the end. He is sovereign. He is merciful. And how have I responded? Sometimes with worry or depression. Often with frustration and anger. And, just this week–I admit I’ve even neglected the God who has always proven Himself faithful.
Why? Because I have an attitude disorder. When things don’t go my way or according to my plan, I begin to think something is wrong. I pout. I whine. I shake my fist at God and question His wisdom. Isn’t that foolish? Unfortunately, it’s an inherited human trait–this “I Did It My Way” mantra–and, it always proves false. Even faithful believers like Abraham (Genesis 16; 17), Lot (Genesis 19:23-26), and Moses (Numbers 20:1-12) occasionally developed this kind of “stinkin’ thinkin” and it definitely didn’t work for them. Why would I ever assume it’d be effective for me?
If you’ve ever taken a dim view of God’s work in your life or the lives of those you love, you understand what I’m talking about.
Praise God for His bountiful grace! Because once again, I’m kneeling at His throne asking for humility…wisdom…perseverance…forgiveness. If you, too, have an attitude disorder then I welcome you to join me. There’s a lot of room at the foot of the King.
WOW kissed by God again…during my morning meditation on Ephesians 4:22-24. I have long desired to be transformed … but I have been struggling…this morning I heard “it is all in the attitude” and what was my attitude towards transformation? As I meditated I realized I have been deceiving myself and God and that in turn was causing an angry frustrated attitude becoming an obstacle for my transformation. I like what you called it “attitude disorder” , bless you for reminding me that there is always room at His Throne for us to kneel and pray “asking for humility…wisdom…perseverance…forgiveness.” Patty
joining you at His feet.
Thanks for reading this post. 🙂 I’m glad to know we are all enough alike to have shared experiences!
Blessings,
Tammy