The sleek feel of wood pressed against my knees as unintelligible words spilled haphazard and desperate from a shattered heart. Miniature puddles dotted the floor’s surface–a testimony of tears pock-marking shiny laminate.
I’d been wandering in the wilderness, but it seemed the entry and exit points were blocked. I was alone in the shadowy places with no hope of rescue.
I knew He was there. I knew He promised to be with me. I knew He’d shown up strong and powerful before. But my withering soul felt as dry as the high desert and the wasteland stretched wide in every direction–parched and lifeless– while I stumbled about calling out for God.
Have you been there?  Have you, too, trekked aimlessly through the badlands of Fear or Doubt? Wandered in the wilds of Trial or Tribulation? You might be in that place now, blaming your lack of faith for failing to feel God’s presence. Almost certain the Hope Giver has turned away from your prayers or grown weary of your petitions. [bbctt tweet=”Perhaps you’ve believed Shame’s lies. The untruths that spin and swarm in your mind–growing ever louder and more incessant. You deserve this. You haven’t done enough. Been enough. And you struggle to hear His voice above the clamor.#Helovesyou#Heiswithyoualways#trusthim ” username=”tammykennington”]
It feels frightening. Disheartening. Discouraging. Did you catch the keyword?
It feels frightening.
Sometimes the untruths swarm and spin in our minds like spiritual propaganda, obscuring the reality with incessant cat-calls. God has abandoned you. Jesus’ resurrection is a lie. You have no hope.
If you’re in the midst of the wilderness? If the lies seem greater than God? Living out your faith may need to be very intentional for a time. Feed on His promises and cry out to Him in your need even when you are wrung out. Gather truth in the same way a child on the beach gathers seashells. Remind yourself of His words and He will multiply them in your life.
And whether this difficult season ends tomorrow or the day we cross heaven’s threshold, one day we will echo Jesus’ words, “It is finished” and we’ll see that He walked with us each step of the way.
With love and peace,
Tammy
P.S. If I can pray for you as you walk through the wilderness, please let me know.