Indigenous to the area, the invasive runners threaded their way across our backyard–overtaking the softer variety planted by the builders. Within months, our patch of land transformed into a drought-tolerant, child-friendly rectangle of green able to withstand the high temperatures and sandy soils of Virginia.

That summer, I struggled with faith as much as the unfortunate Buffalo grass struggled to remain intact.

 

Why the Struggle with Faith?

Not the most difficult season I would experience, those exhausting months still laid as heavy a burden on my spirit–separating me from the beauty and truth of scripture and instead inviting deep depression.  I questioned my theology and drew inaccurate conclusions about God as memories of a broken childhood and inner taunts of irreparable damage entangled my thoughts just as the Bermuda grass of the south engulfed tender sod.

 

Job’s Reflects on Grief and Loss

Job’s words reflected my overwrought heart.

I questioned my theology and drew inaccurate conclusions about God as memories of a broken childhood and inner taunts of irreparable damage entangled my thoughts...#faith Share on X

Why did I not die at birth?

Why did I not perish when I came from the womb?

Why did the knees receive me?

Or why the breasts, that I should nurse?

For now I would have lain still and been quiet, I would have been asleep;

Then I would have been at rest

With kings and counselors of the earth,Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV) #faith Share on X

Who built ruins for themselves,

Or with princes who had gold,

Who filled their houses with silver

Or why was I not hidden like a stillborn child,

Like infants who never saw light? (Job 3 11-16 NKJV)

 

Why We Do Not Despair

Have you ever been there? Struggling to keep your faith alive? Struggling to maintain hope? Maybe you haven’t lived the struggle or traveled through the wilderness. But none of us gets through life unscathed.

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV)

My pain and heartache led me to a place of panic and near disillusionment. But the Lord understood my hurt. In fact, He never sugarcoated the trials of life. But I’d missed some important truths and God was growing me in my immature faith.

 

Truths to Remember When You Struggle with Faith

 

1) God never leaves us. Tangled in the wounds of the past and as a child of divorced parents, I believed my past mirrored my current relationship with God. Thoughts like God doesn’t love, He’s ashamed of me, and I’ll always feel isolated from Him, raced through my mind.

 

But the opposite was true. Hebrews 13:5 reassures that “He will never leave you nor forsake you.”  I chose to isolate from the lover of my soul. To stop meeting with Him in the quiet of the morning. To make excuses about attending church.

I left God, yet He remained faithful. #Godisfaithful #christianliving Share on X

2) Pray with honest persistence. Even sitting atop the ash heap of the city’s dump, Job mourned, wept, and prayed. In unimaginable circumstances and experiencing horrific spiritual warfare, he responds to God with praise and adoration,

“I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water,
ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
made small talk about wonders way over my head.”
(Job 42:1-3)

This is Job’s final recorded prayer with God. Many other discussions reveal the honest uncovering of his doubts, pain, and other challenging emotions. A man who “feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1:1), Job knew God desired an honest relationship with him.

Friend, He longs for the same with each of us.

3) Consider the tactics of the enemy. As I contemplated whether God had abandoned me during my childhood, I dismissed the one who comes “to kill, steal, and destroy”. (John 10:10)

He assailed me with seeds of distraction that embedded deep in my thoughts, corrupting my attitude toward the Lord while clouding my perception of those responsible for injustice, evil, and suffering in the world.

 

But if Satan sought to delude and introduce death into the lives of God’s first people, why wouldn’t he do the same to me? Finally, after meeting regularly with a trusted mentor, I admitted she was right.

As 1 John 1:5 (NIV) reads, “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.”

 

Key Takeaways When You’re Struggling with Your Faith

• Christianity is not About Other People Many people walk away from their faith because they become disillusioned with their pastor, church leaders, or other believers. Nobody would remain faithful to Christianity if other people were the standard.

Christianity is only measured by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The rest of us are saints who sin.

 

• Count the Cost Living for Jesus leads to loss in this life. Some will think of you as narrow-minded or exclusive because you hold to God’s word. It doesn’t mean you love others any less, but they will dislike you even more.

Are you willing to honor God by maintaining standards outside the norm?

 

• Evaluate the Difference Other religions rely on one’s work, perfection, or spouse to invite her into heaven. Christianity is the only faith in which God gives His life to be reconciled to His children.

While the apostle Paul wrote, “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.” (1 Corinthians 15:19 NIV), those who hold to other religious traditions are to be far more pitied in eternity for they will have “lost their soul” (Mark 8:36).

Peace and grace,
Tammy

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Tammy Kennington

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