I remember the first time I heard those words. It was shocking and unexpected.
“Your husband has irreversible brain damage.” In 1995 my husband was in a head-on car collision. That day, our lives changed forever. Although my husband Paul was in a lot of head pain, we assumed it would pass…soon. It didn’t.
Weeks turned into months and no amount of medical tests could determine what had happened. Nine months later, an MRI confirmed that the seat belt Paul was wearing had cut into his neck sending a blood clot to his brain and solidified in an inoperable area, the Basal Ganglia. He suffered a stroke and started showing signs of Parkinson’s disease.
Things were escalating downward. Quickly. He was hospitalized to regulate his medication, but to no avail. The department head from the Psychology Department of the local university hospital called me specifically to say that there was nothing they could do. The damage to Paul’s brain caused nerve damage throughout his body.
The doctor also applauded me for ‘staying’ with Paul. Most of these scenarios end in divorce. He had counseled Paul that he should expect this and not to hold it against me if I chose to leave. This was not in my realm of possibility as I took an oath that said: “in sickness and in health.” What if I had been in an accident?
Life does not come with any warranties. -Carol Graham #lifehasnowarranties #joyinhardship Click To TweetAs those months turned into years, we had gained little ground. Paul vacillated between being a vegetable who could not feed himself to a raving maniac; a condition caused by various medication cocktails. One of his diagnoses was Chronic Pain Syndrome (CPS). CPS is a condition in which the brain tells the body that it is in pain but in reality, it is not. Consequently, pain medications do not work. Narcotics do not work.
“Sorry,” the doctors would say after each visit “but there is nothing we can do. This is as good as it is going to get.” The pain he endured was not a normal migraine. On a pain scale of one to ten – his number was off the charts. I often wondered how he could open his eyes or function on any level.
After seven years I said “Enough!” Having been a certified health coach/symptomologist for many years, I knew if he was going to get help, natural medicine was his only hope. Replacing all his drugs with food supplements was no easy transition. There were some terrible withdrawal symptoms. Lots of tears. Discouragement. But slowly we started to see improvement–it was gradual, but it happened.
Patience–on my part–and laughter kept us alive. My “job” was to keep us both laughing. This took work, but proved that laughter is indeed the best medicine.
Almost 20 years had passed and Paul was functioning at 90% or better. We had our lives back. But, on June 12, 2012, just three days after my closest friend was killed in a boating accident, I received a phone call from Paul saying he had been in an accident. I thought my heart would implode.
What we never anticipated is that this incident would pole vault Paul backward. The jolt to his brain recreated all the old symptoms — only his body was 20 years older and bouncing back was not as easy.
On the positive side, I knew that if we had done it once we could do it again. I found joy in knowing that no matter what happened, God knows the end of my story. He has provided everything I need. Every promise in the Bible is mine. It is my prophetic future and I can bank on it. I did. And God restored Paul.
Every promise in the Bible is mine. It is my prophetic future and I can bank on it. I did. -Carol Graham #bankonit Click To TweetNo matter what life gives us, whether it was our own bad decisions or something out of our control, we have the choice to allow it to break us or to learn from it. I used those seemingly setbacks as stepping stones because I chose to be a victor and not a victim. I chose to find joy in all circumstances. I chose to trust God. As a result, an entirely new career has opened up for me as a Prayer Life Coach – finding joy in trauma.
No matter what life gives us, whether it was our own bad decisions or something out of our control, we have the choice to allow it to break us or to learn from it. -Carol Graham Click To TweetThrough each of the 12 major traumas in my life, I found a promise from God’s Word to give me the peace I needed, and that, in turn, gave me great joy. These traumas included the loss of two children, being gang-raped and left for dead, an abusive first marriage, and uterine cancer.
In hindsight, I see God’s hand, His protection, His strength, and His promises fulfilled were all part of God’s master plan. That is how I maintained my joy- even on the darkest days. Question for Consideration
A message from Tammy:
If you are living through your darkest days, may you find comfort today knowing He is aware of your every need. He is for you, dear one. Our Lord is true to His promises and as Carol wrote, your prophetic future as a follower of Christ is one of promises fulfilled. While your struggle and mine may be different from Carol’s, how can this different perspective of the our tomorrows shift our outlook of the hardships we face in the now?
Meet Carol
Carol Graham is an expert in surviving against all odds. Carol has survived the challenges of major illnesses, devastating personal losses, and financial ruin more than once – yet has refused to become a victim. Carol is an award-winning author of Battered Hope, a teacher, a prayer coach, and a certified health coach. Carol’s talk show, Never Ever Give Up Hope, is heard by more than 191,000 people in over 140 countries and is number one in Google searches on the subject of hope. In 2018 Carol received the One Woman Fearless global award. You can find Carol online at the following social media outlets:
Website: https://prayingmiracles.com
Facebook Praying for Miracles: https://www.facebook.com/PrayingForMiraclesWithCarol
Facebook Carol Graham: https://www.facebook.com/carol.graham.90834776
Never Ever Give Up Hope Podcast: http://neverevergiveuphopenet.blogspot.com
YouTube: Praying for Miracles with Carol Graham
Amazon: MEMOIR – http://amzn.to/1wEwEsN
I often link up with the following wonderful bloggers.
Peace and grace,
Tammy
Mondays Mandy and Michele/ Inspire Me Monday/Anita Ojeda
Tuesdays InstaEncouragements/Anchored Abode
Wednesdays Recharge Wednesday / Tell His Story/Sitting Among Friends Linkup/Let’s Have Coffee
Thursdays Heart Encouragement / Tune In Thursday /Salt and Light
Friday Blogger Voices Network /Grace and Truth Linkup/ Five Minute Friday
“No matter what life gives us, whether it was our own bad decisions or something out of our control, we have the choice to allow it to break us or to learn from it. I used those seemingly setbacks as stepping stones because I chose to be a victor and not a victim.” THIS is something I teach and counsel OFTEN! YES!
Hi Angie,
They are powerful words coming from Carol, aren’t they?
Blessings to you,
Tammy
Wow, that’s incredible to remain hopeful and faithful despite so many barriers! Thanks for sharing Carol’s story here.
Thank you Lisa for your kind words. Barriers can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. Hope to see you at prayingmiracles.com
Hi Lisa.
Her story touched my heart!
Blessings to you,
Tammy
Tammy, thanks for sharing Carol’s story and words with us. It’s a powerful message of facing unimagineable odds and overcoming by the grace of Jesus.
Thank you, Karen. Interesting you mentioned grace as that is the subject I am currently teaching on. Thank you for the confirmation.
Hi Karen.
Carol’s story is incredible. She is a testimony to God’s miraculous love when the Enemy plans to do harm.