I like my life drama-free. My first marriage had enough turmoil to last me a lifetime. I’m very comfortable with our quiet, boring routine.
Our home and schedule change drastically when my daughter and granddaughters visit. Those are the changes we love. The rooms seem to get smaller as we bring out the toys and baby furniture. The walls get dirty, stickers appear in random places, dust bunnies collect, and the dog gets bigger from snacks sneaked and food dropped.
Yes, our seemingly mundane life turns chaotic when the family comes to visit, but we really don’t mind at all.
Seven years ago our daughter and granddaughters spent five weeks with us while they got their paperwork in order to live in my son-in-law’s home town in England. At that time Fiona was four years old and Eleanor was eight months old. They had previously lived in Hungary and their annual visits were precious. Those weeks were sublime!
As usual, I hated the quiet after they left and immediately started the post-visit routine. I put away the toys and furniture so I wouldn’t get depressed. I washed walls, scrubbed floors, and regained control of my environment. I cried around the house on and off for days, longing for them to video chat with me. However, I knew they were busy settling into their new home in the UK.
Again, my heart was broken. “This doesn’t get easier,” I told a friend. Then something happened that helped put it in perspective.
A friend from church lost a baby grandson. We know he is in the arms of Jesus, but that doesn’t take the pain away.
My heart may be broken when my family goes back home, but I know I’ll see them again on our next visit. We’ll video chat with them regularly. I’ll hold them again here on earth. My friend cannot.
[bbctt tweet="How do others see God working in your everyday life and mine?"]
It put my woes in proper perspective as I watched my friend’s family exude God’s peace while He heals their hearts. God used the faith shown by the grieving family to minister to those around them. We see God working in their everyday lives.
Philippians 4:4-9 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Now, several years later, I learn that my family can’t visit this spring. I’ve come to expect them in April and, once again, my heart is broken. Once again, I have to concentrate on “whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” – those things that are praiseworthy and excellent. Sadly, as always, it’s easier said than done. I feel it’s time to get busy helping others and put my woes in the proper perspective.
[bbctt tweet="Pour out onto those around us like water through a broken vase.#loveothers #pourout"]
When we remain teachable and keep our eyes on Christ, He will help us see those hurting around us. If we reach out to others in their need, we won’t be caught up in our own hurts, concerns, and problems. It helps. It really does. Keeping our minds on what is pure and lovely will help us realize that God’s peace is with us. I pray we keep our hearts open to learn from God and to put what we’ve learned into practice, allowing His love to pour out onto those around us like water through a broken vase.
[bbctt tweet="To those who have lost a child, I pray God's love overwhelms you...He is near."]
To those who have lost a child, I pray God’s love overwhelms you and fills you with His perfect peace each day as you learn to carry on. He will show you. He will guide you. He is near.
Kelly J. Stigliano enjoys life in Orange Park, FL with her husband, Jerry. A blended family, they have five grown children, a son-in-law, and two granddaughters – spread across the globe! She has contributed to thirteen anthologies, written hundreds of articles, and recently released her memoir, Praying for Murder, Receiving Mercy. Documenting eight years of her life, it is written in two parts with photographs in the middle. Kelly travels as a speaker, making people laugh and cry as she shares her heart. To learn more about Kelly’s ministry, her speaking topics, and books, please visit www.kellystigliano.com.
Peace and grace,
Tammy
I sometimes link-up with these wonderful bloggers:
Mondays InstaEncouragements/ Anita Ojeda, Mandy and Michele, Kingdom Bloggers,
Tuesdays RaRa Linkup /GraceFull Tuesday / Tell His Story/Anchored Abode,
Wednesdays Worth Beyond Rubies, Recharge Wednesday / Welcome Wednesday /LetsHave Coffee/Porch Stories
Thursdays Heart Encouragement / Tune In Thursday /Salt and Light / Five Minute Friday
Friday Counting My Blessings, Faith on Fire, Blogger Voices Network
So much to enjoy, appreciate, and learn from this post Ms. Kelly. “Temporary” setbacks (unrealized plans, visits, etc.) hurt every bit as much as those “Permanent” ones (death, divorce, etc.). It’s taken many years, but God has shown me just how “temporary” most are, which makes them much easier to process through emotionally. God’s blessings ladies.
It’s all in perspective. Great post.
Beautiful post, Kelly, thanks for sharing it Tammy. No one should have to bury a child, and that really does put our other woes into perspective. I lost a baby in utero between my 2 children and that was hard enough. Since we know life begins at conception, I know I’ll see that baby in heaven one day. Sorry your family isn’t coming to visit soon. Hoping it’s not too far off. My nephew married a girl from England, so now that she’s an American citizen, her family comes her to visit and they go there at least every other year, sometimes once a year.
I’m so sorry you lost a little one, Karen. When I was a little girl, my baby brother died soon after he was born. My mother mourns for him every year near his birthday. What a treasure awaits the both of you in heaven! I’m so glad you stopped by today. Peace and grace, Tammy
I can’t imagine that kind of loss – a second cousin lost their two year old before Christmas, and I’ve watched that family grieve. Thank you for your transparency and honesty with your own form of “grief” in missing your family. I especially liked this part: “When we remain teachable and keep our eyes on Christ, He will help us see those hurting around us. If we reach out to others in their need, we won’t be caught up in our own hurts, concerns, and problems.”
Julie, my heart hurts for your cousin. When my daughter was a month old, my husband performed CPR on her for five minutes before she drew a breath. We’ve battled our son’s depression and prayed against his desire to end his life. I’ve only been on the brink of losing my children and grief has risen large and I still can’t imagine the loss your cousin is managing. I pray the Father who gave up His only Son comforts her in the depth of her grief.
These are great helps. When I don’t get to talk or video chat with adult kids as often as I’d like, I remind myself that years ago I could only call my mom long distance once a month, there were no cell phones, and pictures took weeks to use up the whole roll of film, get them developed, and then wait for reprints. I love that nowadays, technology allows us to keep in touch more often. It’s still not the same as having them home, but it helps.
Barbara, that is such a wonderful reminder. I had to save up to call my mother when I was in college because it was difficult to pay the long-distance fees. Now, a text message or Facetime call is at the tip of the fingers. What a blessing!
I can identify with your family experience. My one and only granddaughter lives in another state and I treasure those times we have together. Family is a blessing and knowing we are connected in Christ gives us even greater ones!
“When we remain teachable and keep our eyes on Christ.” This is so important! Thanks for sharing this inspiring message.
I love the words Kelly penned! They are such an encouragement. Peace and grace, Tammy