Brilliant shafts of light passed through the windows as I sat silently…listening for God to instruct my heart. Closing my eyes, I invited Him to meet me during these few quiet moments set aside for prayer and reflection.
Glancing at the sheet of prompts held in my hands, I struggled with the response–not because I didn’t know the answer…but because I did. Today’s devotion penetrated with the question…What are you excited about?
The answer surfaced quickly–an undesired intruder provoking speculation…questioning…uncertainty.
What was I excited about?
Nothing.
I feel as if I’m living in limbo…wondering about God’s plans for my children, my family, and my life. And like a man standing on a mountain top in the midst of a snowstorm, I can’t see the other peak just beyond the valley.
Pausing, I wonder if my honest answer is unacceptable to God. Ungrateful…unworthy…unholy–the words penetrate my heart and guilt’s shadow presses near.
Grappling with both the question and the answer, I realize my longing for more–more of holiness…more of beauty…more of Christ–is the deep desire to know my Creator; to live in the perfection of an Eternal Garden.
Today, though, I am living as all people do–in this strange Temporary of joy and pain, hope and fear, celebration and sorrow.
The Psalmist shared the same feeling–I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I’m thirsty for God alive. (Psalm 42:2). Dear Friend, my soul yearns for the day I am fully in His presence and surrounded by glory. That is a Forever excitement.