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Posts Tagged ‘words of affirmation’

From department stores to neighborhood markets, aisles are overrun with fluffy stuffed animals, heart-shaped boxes, and sentimental cards embellished with adorable, naked babies adorned by wings. Movie theaters roll out the newest round of romantic comedies while well-placed commercials promise “a diamond kind of love”–if only your dear one would realize the worth of giving his girl a shiny bit of bling.

heart-660377_1920Now, I’m not one of those women who dislike Valentine’s Day and I’m afraid I rather enjoy sentimental love letters. And, the chocolate? Well…studies have shown that the delightful sweet increases feel-good hormones in women.

But, none of these Valentine day pleasures truly capture the essence of love. Instead? They point out our need…our yearning…our deep desire for someone to love us. The sort of love that disregards color or size. The kind of devotion unrelated to beauty, status, or age. That beautiful, unvarnished version of being treasured by someone despite the awareness of our inner faults and outward shortcomings. Oh, to know such love!

The call of your heart to be loved unconditionally? The wish-upon-a-star dream for true love you’ve had for years? The longing to be affirmed since the cancer treatments began and the image you see isn’t one you like? I want to remind you of an incredible truth, friend. There is an answer and His name is Jesus.

Haven’t you heard? He—the only God—formed you by His hands. Tenderly and gently breathing life into your soul. He—the God who is love—gave up His son that you might belong to Him. Adopted. Chosen. Embraced. He—the Holy, Unchanging One—loves you with an everlasting love. In Him, my friend, you will discover the birthplace of love that was once-and-for-all expressed in the deliberate act of choosing death on the cross in exchange for the eternal joy of living with His children.

In this season of commercialized adulation and unmet expectations, I pray that we’ll remember the words of Scripture,

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, [k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

LIVEFREETHURSDAY

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My husband loves honey-do lists–the longer the list, the more satisfied he feels when each item has a bold hash mark through it.  Mow the lawn.  Done.  Change the light fixtures.  All set.  Pay the bills.  Taken care of.  Despite Dave’s affinity for these lists, I have never given him one.  Even more than that, I’m careful not to mention things that need to be taken care of around the house because–like Santa’s list– they’ll be added to the queue.

I know some of you are wondering  if I’ve lost touch with reality.  You may be thinking, “What I wouldn’t do just to get my husband to take out the trash or wash the dishes.  She’s nuts!”  The issue for me is not whether or not chores get done or if I can rely on Dave’s help at home.  Instead, I’m concerned about spending time together.  We’ve actually agreed to put all work aside by noon on weekends–just to guarantee time is spent doing what is necessary at home AND necessary for our relationship.

Love–in my language–is spelled T-I-M-E.  Others of you may feel most loved when your husband brings you flowers, writes a love note, snuggles–or vacuums the family room.  What is it that make you feel special?  Starry-eyed?  Affectionate?  While you’re thinking about it, pause to consider what feeds your husband’s love for you.  Does he beam when you pack his lunch?  Would he prefer a back rub?  Or, does he just need to hear you say, “I’d marry you all over again.”?

Early in our marriage, Dave and I read a great book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages.  If you want to know your spouse better–or even need to share with him what would help you feel loved and appreciated–then you might want to read it.  Even better, read it together.  Who knows, maybe your chores will get done after all!

Does he need…

  • words of affirmation?  Tuck love notes in his dresser drawer, lunchbox, and CD case.
  • time together?  Plan a date for him–action movies, pizza, and beer.
  • acts of service?  Ask him to make a honey-do list for you.
  • physical touch?  Cozy up during a football game or hold his hand–in public.
  • gifts?  Stop by the office with coffee or give him a book he’s always wanted to read.

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