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Posts Tagged ‘shame’

 

 

Author John Chasteen’s words struck me. Only minutes before my daughter had shared alarming statistics about Generation Z-her, age group, gathered from Barna, the CDC, and university websites.

Somewhere between changing hundreds of diapers, flipping pancakes, and driver’s lessons, my children have either moved into young adulthood or the late teen years and I’ve transitioned from youthful mama bouncing a baby on a hip to seasoned mother who has spent more time on her knees than standing.

When I glance at young families eating in restaurants, I wonder at the challenges 
they'll face.Lord, prepare them for battle.#prayer #spiritualwarfare Click To Tweet

Now when I glance at young families eating in restaurants or strolling at the park, I wonder at the challenges they’ll face. Often, I whisper a prayer over them, Lord, prepare them for the battle.

Our wayward world skews the truth and confuses the most vulnerable-our precious children. Right becomes wrong; what was wrong is celebrated and if someone suggests otherwise that person is considered ignorant, hateful, or a bigot.

Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the 
authorities, against the powers of this dark world...#heavenlyrealms Click To Tweet

But I am well educated, accept and love others even if I disagree with their lifestyles and choices, and recognize my battle isn’t with man’s standards or beliefs. Parents like myself aren’t at battle with any particular group of people. Scripture is clear, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

We are waging a war against the lies of the Enemy.Lies that lead our children into bondage.
Lies that leave our children feeling lost, alone, and abandoned.#lostboys #lonelygirls Click To Tweet

We are waging a war against the lies of the Enemy. Lies of identity and value. Lies that lead our children into bondage. Lies that leave our children feeling lost, alone, and abandoned.

Consider this information…

  • Suicide is the second leading cause of death for adolescents.
  • 33% report being bullied online.
  • More than 20% of teens struggle with mental health illness.
  • 50% of teenaged girls and 30% of teenaged boys use unhealthy weight control measures such as binging, purging, or diuretics.
  • 50% will experience the breakup of their parent’s marriage.
  • 40% of Gen Z is being raised without their fathers.
  • 70% believe it’s acceptable to be born one gender and feel like another.
  • 29% believe abortion is wrong.
  • 94% of boys view pornography by age 14 and nearly 25% are unable to discontinue the behavior.
  • 80% of girls view pornography by age 14 and 8% are unable to discontinue the behavior.
  • 1/3 believe lying is morally wrong.
  • 4% of 69 million children and teens in Gen Z have a Biblical worldview.

Friend, it is time to prepare the next generation. We cannot shrug them off dismissively because the battle lines are drawn; the Enemy has declared war on our children, families, and homes.

We must engage.

Our teens suffer emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.#ourteensneedus Click To Tweet

Engage our children–these beautiful gifts from God who stagger baffled and bewildered toward the deceptive traps set before them. While the average American family spends no more than thirty-seven minutes together each day, our teens suffer emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Earlier, I quoted John Chasteen. If we were to read each statistic individually, they might seem unremarkable. Innocuous. But read as a whole? Problematic and dangerous. Your teens and mine are hurting.

Send your prayers relentlessly toward heaveny.#prayingmothers #pray Click To Tweet

Mama, I know your heart. You love your child more than life; don’t give up. Jesus is your heavenly intercessor and He is praying on behalf of your beloved son or daughter. Send your prayers relentlessly toward heaven.

Below, you’ll discover four simple ways to overcome the Enemy. It’s a place to start as we trust the Lord with our children and fight alongside Him on the homefront.

Praying for my children is the single most important act I will ever do on their behalf. 
#battleonmyknees Click To Tweet

Four Simple & Effective Ways to Engage Your Teen & Overcome the Enemy

  • Pray Continually-The longer I’ve parented, the more I’ve realized the importance of prayer. I’ve come to believe that praying for my children before their birth and throughout their lives is the most important single act I will ever do on their behalf. (I’m planning to include a list of downloadble of prayer prompts in this month’s message. If you’d like to add your name to the email list, I’ll be sure to send it to you! )
  • Protect Family Time-Talk with your children about how much you miss spending time with them and determine a specific number of times each week your family will gather for dinner. No cell phones or other social media allowed.
  • Protect What Your Children See and Share-Every evening, politely but firmly insist that your children place cell phones in a designated area. Phones are not allowed to be in a teen’s room overnight and parents have access to all passwords and social media profiles-if you allow them. In addition, eliminate the ability to share photos on your child’s phone to avoid the possibility of “sexting”.
  • Protect Your Child’s Heart-Spend time with your teen each day. Go on a walk, play a board game, listen to music, or watch a favorite movie together. Share what you’re learning from scripture, offer to do a Bible study with your son or daughter. Create opportunities to grow your relationship and speak truth into your child’s life while he or she still lives at home.

I’d love to know other ways you protect your family time or your child’s heart. Please share with us below or let me know how I can pray for you.

 

Peace and grace,

Tammy

Mondays   InstaEncouragements/  Mandy and MicheleKingdom Bloggers,

Tuesdays RaRa Linkup /GraceFull Tuesday / Tell His Story/Anchored Abode,

Wednesdays   Worth Beyond RubiesRecharge Wednesday Welcome Wednesday /LetsHave Coffee/

Thursdays Heart Encouragement  /  Tune In Thursday  /Salt and Light /  Five Minute Friday

Friday Faith on Fire, Blogger Voices Network, Grace and Truth Linkup

 

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Shadow of Shame

 

Your parents had to get married. Her words, rife with condemnation and mockery, penetrated my third-grade heart. I felt the stares of the other children. I blinked hard, forcing my humiliation to be quiet. Undetectable. But shame rose fast and unrelenting like floodwaters. Tears blurring my vision, I bowed my head and hurried toward the school cafeteria. That day, every bite of food tasted like shame.

That day, every bite of food tasted like shame.#shame #powerofwords #identityinChrist Click To Tweet

My struggle with shame began long before elementary school. It festered and grew in a home where words were weapons and hurtful labels were accepted without question. I was a burden, not a blessing.

(To continue reading, please visit my friend, Katy Kauffman’s blog, where I am guest posting this week.) http://lighthousebiblestudies.com/katy-kauffman-blog/christ-who-conquered-shame.

Peace and grace,

Tammy

 

I often link up with the following wonderful bloggers:

Mondays   InstaEncouragementsAnita Ojeda, Mandy and Michele, Kingdom Bloggers,

Tuesdays RaRa Linkup /GraceFull Tuesday / Tell His Story/Anchored Abode,

Wednesdays   Worth Beyond RubiesRecharge Wednesday Welcome Wednesday /LetsHave Coffee

Thursdays Heart Encouragement  /  Tune In Thursday  /Salt and Light /  Five Minute Friday

Friday Counting My Blessings, Faith on Fire, Blogger Voices Network, Grace and Truth Linkup,best-of-the-weekend

 

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Woman.png

It is the terror that if our dark soul is discovered, we will never be enjoyed, nor desired, nor pursued by anyone. (Dan Allender)

Shame is that inner tormentor that whispers lies and accusations. It is the silent, insidious voice of self-contempt for one’s own need for love, relationship, and acceptance and is the seat of fear and rejection for the woman who bears its burden.

Introduced into my life at the intersection between my parent’s divorce, a stepfather, and a little girl’s desperate longing for love, I’ve been acquainted with shame since before my fifth birthday. I couldn’t have known that my new daddy’s affection and attention were the seeds he’d scattered in my life to engender trust in a lonely child’s heart. But once the abuse began, shame grew from those seeds–unloosing  self-loathing and self-disdain; always asking, What if I hadn’t? or What if I had?

Shame, though, doesn’t limit itself to only those who are abuse survivors. It invades the lives of women who were the first in their family to experience divorce.

Women who were bullied for their appearance or personality.

Women who experienced the pain of an absentee parent.

Women whose husbands indulge in pornography or flit from one affair to the next.

Women living with the trauma of a child’s death.

Do you, too, know the voice of illegitimate shame? Has its poison poured into the soil of your heart, assaulting you with cruel falsehoods?

You’re never enough.

You should have done something.

You shouldn’t have done anything.

You aren’t worth being loved. 

Some of us tuck shame behind our smiles; the great pretenders#nomoreshame#soulhealing#youareworthloving. Click To Tweet

Some of us tuck shame behind ours smiles; the great pretenders. Others of us hide behind success and performance, unhealthy relationships, food or alcohol consumption, or even closed hearts–certain we’re safer not being known at all.

Two thousand years ago, another woman lived with the shame of bloody discharge.

In the crowd that day there was a woman who for twelve years had been afflicted with hemorrhages. She had spent every penny she had on doctors but not one had been able to help her. She slipped in from behind and touched the edge of Jesus’ robe. At that very moment her hemorrhaging stopped. Jesus said, “Who touched me?”

When no one stepped forward, Peter said, “But Master, we’ve got crowds of people on our hands. Dozens have touched you.”

Jesus insisted, “Someone touched me. I felt power discharging from me.”

When the woman realized that she couldn’t remain hidden, she knelt trembling before him. In front of all the people, she blurted out her story—why she touched him and how at that same moment she was healed.

Jesus said, “Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed!” (Luke 8:43-48)

Imagine this women’s desperation. For twelve years she’d lived on the fringe of society as an outcast. The communities societal pollutant. Demoralized and destitute, the woman hid in the midst of the crowd–gathering courage.

Despite the possibility of ridicule or rejection, the woman pressed through her fear as trembling fingers feathered lightly against rough fabric. And in the moment she trusted the Healer, her shame was destroyed.

If shame is part of your struggle, God’s heart is for you to discover freedom from its lies that you, too, might “live well, live blessed.” But, how?

Let’s consider the example of the healed woman who tried to hide from Christ. She pushed beyond her pain, pressed into Jesus, and proclaimed the truth of her situation. These were the stepping-stones of faith that led to healing and wholeness. Relief and restoration.

These were the stepping stones of faith that led to healing and wholeness.Relief and restoration.#nomoreshame#speaktruth#soulhealing Click To Tweet

Oh, friend, this woman’s experience can be mine. Her experience can be yours!

Will you consider taking on a challenge? Starting today, I encourage you to stand up against shame by engaging in the following three activities until you begin to notice a heart change:

  • Push beyond your pain. Write an honest, raw letter or prayer to Jesus about the pain of your shame. What has shame told you? What words or actions have other people taken that have caused you to feel ashamed?
    Step out from hiding and reveal your heart to Him.He will never forsake you. Click To Tweet

    Step out from hiding and reveal your heart to Him. He will never forsake you.

  • Press into Jesus. Reach for the hem of his garment by seeking Him in scripture. Saturate your mind with the Word and replace words of shame with the Living Word that assures you of your identity and worth.
  • Proclaim the truth. Record God’s words of love and place them where you’ll frequently see them. Read them aloud, turn them into prayers, and claim them for yourself because God’s promises are for those who put their faith in Him. Consider inviting a friend, counselor or mentor into the places you need healing from shame. Or, message me and I’ll pray for you.

May you, too, “live well, live blessed.”

Peace and grace,

Tammy

I often link up with the following: Porch StoriesTea and Word Tuesday, Literary Musing MondaysTea and Word TuesdaysWorth Beyond Rubies Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee, Soaring With HimPurposeful Faith, Encouraging Word WednesdaySitting Among FriendsImparting GraceDestination InspirationTune in ThursdayHeart EncouragementFaith and FriendsFaith on Fire, anitaojeda, Dance with Jesus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The eerie revelation to self that isolates one in the face of an sacred community. What is revealed is a moral inferiority that makes one vulnerable to irresistible forces. As a state of feeling, shame is fearful, chaotic, holistic and humbling. –Definition of shame (Jack Katz)

Liberating hope…those two words caught my attention; my eyes drawn to the speaker.  Jesus gives us liberating hope.  Hope from shame…from the deep sense that you are unacceptable because of something done by you, to you, or in association with you.  And my heart skipped a beat.  I knew I wasn’t the only woman shifting uneasily that morning…as if the pastor could peer into my heart and see the secrets I had buried there.

And he spoke of Mary Magdalene–the woman who had been hostess to seven demons.

Imagine her life…merely a lowly woman in that ancient culture, Mary would have been shunned; avoided; a topic of discussion but never compassion.   She was despised for the burden she carried within–the inescapable filth, fear, and fiendish vulnerability.  Mary understood deep, soul-searing shame.  Unacceptable…dirty…and filled to overflowing by the chaotic, controlling influence of her own personal demons.

And Jesus did something revolutionary.

 Instead of avoiding Mary, he invited her.  Rather than casting stones, he cast out demons.  Not willing to condemn with his words, Christ offered Mary a new name–“Daughter of the King”.  And in her newfound freedom a woman was re-born…transformed–from demoniac to disciple and unlovable to beloved.

Jesus gave Mary Magdalene liberating hope–true, lasting freedom from a past that might have destroyed her.  The road to freedom was a difficult one for Mary.  Her burdens were as real as yours.  Take just one step today, Dear Friend–one step toward the healing arms of Jesus.  Yes, sometimes this path that promises healing seems more like an insurmountable mountain, but Christ paved the way to wholeness with each step He made toward Golgotha.  Our freedom is a certainty because Jesus did something revolutionary for you and me–He died that we might be fully restored.

So today…take a step in faith toward the revolutionary Jesus.  Begin your walk to freedom by declaring–in all of your doubt, fear, or cynicism–that He is able to do a transformative work in your heart…your life…your ever-after.

Prayer for Today

Dear Lord,

I feel like a Mary–carrying my own personal demons around inside of me–and they haunt me as much as they did when I was a child.  Like Mary, I didn’t ask for these burdens.  They were thrust upon me by someone who should have loved and cared for me, but instead used me for personal satisfaction in ways that left me feeling isolated and ruled by fear.

But now, Lord, I’m calling out your name.  I’m desperate for deliverance…for a liberating freedom that breaks the chains of the past.  Give me a vision of the future where I have been transformed and made whole because I choose to believe and claim the power of your word which tells me “that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns”.  (Phil. 1:6)

In the name of the revolutionary Jesus Christ,

Amen.

 Response

Was there something you read today that prompted you to think about the shame you carry?  What one step can you take on the road to healing today?

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