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Posts Tagged ‘overcoming pain’

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It is the terror that if our dark soul is discovered, we will never be enjoyed, nor desired, nor pursued by anyone. (Dan Allender)

Shame is that inner tormentor that whispers lies and accusations. It is the silent, insidious voice of self-contempt for one’s own need for love, relationship, and acceptance and is the seat of fear and rejection for the woman who bears its burden.

Introduced into my life at the intersection between my parent’s divorce, a stepfather, and a little girl’s desperate longing for love, I’ve been acquainted with shame since before my fifth birthday. I couldn’t have known that my new daddy’s affection and attention were the seeds he’d scattered in my life to engender trust in a lonely child’s heart. But once the abuse began, shame grew from those seeds–unloosing  self-loathing and self-disdain; always asking, What if I hadn’t? or What if I had?

Shame, though, doesn’t limit itself to only those who are abuse survivors. It invades the lives of women who were the first in their family to experience divorce.

Women who were bullied for their appearance or personality.

Women who experienced the pain of an absentee parent.

Women whose husbands indulge in pornography or flit from one affair to the next.

Women living with the trauma of a child’s death.

Do you, too, know the voice of illegitimate shame? Has its poison poured into the soil of your heart, assaulting you with cruel falsehoods?

You’re never enough.

You should have done something.

You shouldn’t have done anything.

You aren’t worth being loved. 

Some of us tuck shame behind our smiles; the great pretenders#nomoreshame#soulhealing#youareworthloving. Click To Tweet

Some of us tuck shame behind ours smiles; the great pretenders. Others of us hide behind success and performance, unhealthy relationships, food or alcohol consumption, or even closed hearts–certain we’re safer not being known at all.

Two thousand years ago, another woman lived with the shame of bloody discharge.

In the crowd that day there was a woman who for twelve years had been afflicted with hemorrhages. She had spent every penny she had on doctors but not one had been able to help her. She slipped in from behind and touched the edge of Jesus’ robe. At that very moment her hemorrhaging stopped. Jesus said, “Who touched me?”

When no one stepped forward, Peter said, “But Master, we’ve got crowds of people on our hands. Dozens have touched you.”

Jesus insisted, “Someone touched me. I felt power discharging from me.”

When the woman realized that she couldn’t remain hidden, she knelt trembling before him. In front of all the people, she blurted out her story—why she touched him and how at that same moment she was healed.

Jesus said, “Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed!” (Luke 8:43-48)

Imagine this women’s desperation. For twelve years she’d lived on the fringe of society as an outcast. The communities societal pollutant. Demoralized and destitute, the woman hid in the midst of the crowd–gathering courage.

Despite the possibility of ridicule or rejection, the woman pressed through her fear as trembling fingers feathered lightly against rough fabric. And in the moment she trusted the Healer, her shame was destroyed.

If shame is part of your struggle, God’s heart is for you to discover freedom from its lies that you, too, might “live well, live blessed.” But, how?

Let’s consider the example of the healed woman who tried to hide from Christ. She pushed beyond her pain, pressed into Jesus, and proclaimed the truth of her situation. These were the stepping-stones of faith that led to healing and wholeness. Relief and restoration.

These were the stepping stones of faith that led to healing and wholeness.Relief and restoration.#nomoreshame#speaktruth#soulhealing Click To Tweet

Oh, friend, this woman’s experience can be mine. Her experience can be yours!

Will you consider taking on a challenge? Starting today, I encourage you to stand up against shame by engaging in the following three activities until you begin to notice a heart change:

  • Push beyond your pain. Write an honest, raw letter or prayer to Jesus about the pain of your shame. What has shame told you? What words or actions have other people taken that have caused you to feel ashamed?
    Step out from hiding and reveal your heart to Him.He will never forsake you. Click To Tweet

    Step out from hiding and reveal your heart to Him. He will never forsake you.

  • Press into Jesus. Reach for the hem of his garment by seeking Him in scripture. Saturate your mind with the Word and replace words of shame with the Living Word that assures you of your identity and worth.
  • Proclaim the truth. Record God’s words of love and place them where you’ll frequently see them. Read them aloud, turn them into prayers, and claim them for yourself because God’s promises are for those who put their faith in Him. Consider inviting a friend, counselor or mentor into the places you need healing from shame. Or, message me and I’ll pray for you.

May you, too, “live well, live blessed.”

Peace and grace,

Tammy

I often link up with the following: Porch StoriesTea and Word Tuesday, Literary Musing MondaysTea and Word TuesdaysWorth Beyond Rubies Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee, Soaring With HimPurposeful Faith, Encouraging Word WednesdaySitting Among FriendsImparting GraceDestination InspirationTune in ThursdayHeart EncouragementFaith and FriendsFaith on Fire, anitaojeda, Dance with Jesus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We are more than overcomers because of our faith.-Suzie Eller (1).png

I lay in the shared room, my teeth clicking uncontrollably as waves of pain radiated throughout my postpartum body . The anesthesia wore off as quickly as it was injected and now, with my son safely swaddled and tucked in the neonatal unit, I begged for relief. The sure precision of the doctor’s blade had etched a wide path across my stomach and broad, grey staples spanned what represented my infant’s gateway into the world just minutes before.

Certain the new mother was exaggerating her discomfort, nurses only responded to my husband’s swift intervention. Finally, a blessed dose of Something Wonderful delivered relief from the throbbing ache.

A faint line still tracks across my lower stomach, testimony to the excruciating pain I once endured. A symbol of both suffering and triumph.

Pain of any sort holds to a set of laws.

Law #1 Pain is Prominent

Whether pain’s root is physical or emotional, it raps loudly on the door of self-awareness and announces its presence–each pound of the fist a reminder of its determination.

An unwelcome guest, pain is a loud, unrelenting tenant who penetrates a heart, mind or body like a tick imbedded in tender flesh.

Jesus, who chose pain on our behalf, never denied or romanticized its existence. Instead, he confirmed what we already know. “In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration”…

If he’d stopped there? Oh, the hopelessness! But, friend, keep reading.

“but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] (John 16:32-33 Amplified Bible)

Because of Christ's death, love has already proclaimed the victory. Click To Tweet

Because of Christ’s death, love has already proclaimed the victory. The moment we move into eternity, we’ll exchange our robes of hurt, sadness and living-on-earth for those of joy, peace and Jesus-in-heaven.

Law #2 Pain is Passing

Even though pain may seem unbearable...the ache we feel today..will one day cease. Click To Tweet

Even though pain may seem unbearable and despite its unfavorable ability to create one shockwave after another, the ache we feel today or tomorrow or even next year will one day cease.

It may continue–for now–but we can tattoo God’s word on our hearts. Impress it in our minds. Immerse our souls in hope.

Scripture reassures, “Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They’re his people, he’s their God. He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone.” (Revelation 21:4-5 MSG).

Law #3 Pain is Productive

Like a woman in childbirth, pain produces an end result. This, though, is something in which we a choice. We can determine how we’ll respond to our experience.

Will our endurance result in bitterness or compassion? Antipathy or faith?

Romans 5:35 (NIV) explains, “We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”

The Comforter dwells in us. When we invite him to minister to the needs of our spirit, the spirit within becomes apparent. Click To Tweet

The Comforter dwells in us. When we invite him to minister to the needs of our spirit, the Spirit within becomes apparent. He’ll guide us when we stumble. Intercede in prayer when we lack words. And, provide hope when we feel hopeless.

We can’t avoid the thrust of the proverbial knife in our lives, but our patient perseverance will lead us to a new life birthed in eternity. As teacher and author Beth Moore notes, “You can’t quit now. Your almost Home! Our time lines are an inch long against the backdrop of eternity. we can do this thing for the five minutes we’re here.”

Peace and grace,

Tammy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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